🐾 Are Frenchies Right for You?
Written by Kara, supervised by Millie (who has Opinions)
Thinking of getting a Frenchie? Read this first—because your life is about to get snortier, snugglier, and a whole lot sassier.
🛋️ Clingy? Yes. Needy? Also yes.
French Bulldogs aren’t dogs. They’re emotional support potatoes with separation issues.
Take one to the bathroom? Cute.
Take three? Welcome to the Frenchie Thunderdome.
Lucy insists on climbing in your lap. Millie hip-checks her for prime petting position. Sometimes Sam joins in the fun—calm, cool, but still expecting scritches without saying a word.
It’s a full-contact sport just to sit down.
🗣️ Lucy says: “Mama. Mommy. MOOOOOOM!”
👀 Millie says: “Doors are optional. I supervise all bathroom activities.”
😐 Sam says: “What bruh?”
Tried closing the door? Think again.
You’ll see tiny Frenchie paws reaching under it like a horror movie, followed by loud snorts, sighs, and huffs of betrayal.
"You left us alone for sixteen entire seconds. How dare you."
🐾 Kara says: “There is no such thing as privacy.”
💦 Water Bowl? Spill-Resistant. Dogs? Not So Much.
We use the Dog Water Bowl — No Spill, Anti Splash, No Mess Dispenser for Sloppy Messy Drinkers.
And yet… they still walk up with drippy mouths like it's my job to clean them. (It is.)
😐 Sam? Drool master.
🐽 Millie? Face dunker.
👃 Lucy? Somehow manages to get it on her nose and eyebrows.
Thankfully, I have the ultimate tool:
🧽 The ever-present microfiber cloth.
I bought in bulk. Because obviously.
🐾 One Frenchie drank? Wipe.
🐾 All three drank? Wipe wipe wipe.
🐾 Someone rubbed their face in kibble? Microfiber to the rescue.
🔊 Snorts, Sighs & Frenchie Wails™
They don’t bark much. But oh honey, they talk.
You’ll hear grumbles when you don’t share your snack. Dramatic sighs when you move them off your pillow. And what we call the Frenchie Wail™ if you dare leave the house without them.
🎙 Soundboard:
😤 Snort = “You’re late with dinner.”
😩 Sigh = “You disturbed my nap for this?”
🙄 Wail = “Why would you betray me like this.”
🐱 Purring = Smug Snuggle Dominance
Frenchies make a soft, contented “purr” when they’re just right. Usually when nestled into your lap like a warm loaf of bread.
💜 It’s a sweet, soothing sound.
✨ It means “I’m safe. I’m loved. Life is good.”
😈 It also means:“I’m the only one in Mom’s lap right now. Sucks to be you.”
Millie purrs at a frequency only other Frenchies can detect—and it absolutely triggers Lucy.
She gives it a minute, tries to be mature, then snaps. Suddenly she’s climbing over Millie, smooshing her way into my face with 37 kisses and a full-body wiggle.
That’s Sam’s cue.
He waits. Observes. Then slowly climbs over the tangle of bodies—one paw at a time—just to give me a few short, deliberate kisses. No chaos. No scrambling.
Then he sits back, makes direct eye contact, and hits me with the side-eye like:
😐 “I paid. Now give me the goods.”
🌡️ Outdoor Activities... With Conditions.
They’re built for luxury, not marathons.
Sam and Lucy can handle the South Louisiana heat like champs.
But Millie? She's our Drama Queen™.
She steps outside, sniffs once, and politely waits at the door like,
😩 “Why are we out here? This feels optional.”
☀️ Kara’s rule: If it’s over 80°F, Millie’s walk is to the air vent.
🎾 Fetch? More Like Competitive Theater.
Millie and Lucy will chase the ball like their lives depend on it…
for almost ten minutes.
Then they give each other the side-eye, drink water (badly), and roll around in dirt.
Sam? Sam runs with them, but never for the ball.
He steals it. Guards it. Moves it just out of reach every time I get close.
Like a tiny, smug lion with treasure.
🎾 I always bring two balls, because I am not new here.
He’ll make about 4 strategic laps, then lie down and supervise the chaos with huffs of judgment.
If dogs had clipboards, Sam would have one.
🍼 Puppyhood = Teething, Pooping, and Extreme Cuteness
Frenchie puppies are tiny comedians with zero boundaries.
They will chew your baseboards and cry like they’re dying if you don’t let them sit in your lap while you're on the toilet. But one head tilt? And you’re toast.
🧃 Millie helped write this blog by crying for water from her waterless bowl every 6 minutes. Even though it wasn’t empty. It just had “too little.” Apparently, that’s a crime.
💨 Let’s Talk Farts. Because... Frenchies.
If you’ve never been silently judged by a dog while they audibly clear the room, then you’ve never lived with a Frenchie.
💣 It’s not “if” they fart. It’s when, how often, and whether it’ll peel paint off the walls.
Their favorite location? Directly on me.
Lucy and Millie politely take turns in my lap like it’s the royal seat of honor.
Each takes their shift... and drops a silent bomb.
Lucy wedges herself between my legs on the recliner… ppppfft.
Millie repositions. Another puff.
Sam, of course, cozies up between me and Tom—back end aimed like a cannon.
Together? It’s a full-on Toot Chorus™.
🎶 Harmony Setup:
One in my lap
One by my knees
One firing from across the couch
And not one of them acknowledges it. Just pure eye contact like,
“Mom, why do you look upset?”
We tried candles. We tried sprays. We tried denial.
Now we use this gift from the heavens:
🧴 AirVersa Smart Scent air machine AirVersa Smart Scent air machine
Waterless, automatic, and not disturbingly loud — definitely quieter than the Frenchie snores, and that’s saying something.
It covers up to 2,000 sq. ft., which is just enough to compete with these three.
✅ So... Are You a Frenchie Person?
If you want a dog that’s basically a snuggly toddler with allergies and opinions…
If you want to be loved aggressively with paws in your face…
If you enjoy naps, nose boops, and being stared at while you eat...
Then yes. You're a Frenchie person.
💜 Want a Belle Vu baby of your own? Get in touch or check the Puppies page!
📝 Blog by Kara @ Belle Vu Frenchies
(Approved by Millie, reluctantly. Lucy demanded credit. Sam blinked once in support.)
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